Blogs

What is Trauma?

What pops into your mind when you hear the word trauma?

Perhaps you see a violent battlefield during wartime. Or you may be visualizing a major plane crash. Maybe it’s a weapon being pointed directly at you.

If you saw one of the above or anything similar, you’re not alone. Most people think of trauma as a life-threatening experience. These dangerous situations can definitely be traumatic for many. However, if you ask most mental health professionals, they will define trauma differently. Dr. Gabor Maté, a leading specialist in the field of trauma and addiction, says that trauma is, “not what happened to you; it is what happens inside of you as a result of what happens to you”. In other words, trauma is not a situation, but an internal experience.

Six Ways to Regulate

In this series, Who Are You Emotions, we have looked at externalizing emotions and understanding what they are communicating to us. Throughout this series you have seen me refer to The Three Rs – Recognize, Regulate, Respond. Let’s look a little closer at the last of the Rs – Regulate.

Who Are You Guilt?

I remember a time when I lied to my mom. 

It was years ago, and I don’t remember exactly what I lied about, but I do remember lying in my bed with the feeling of guilt overwhelming me, keeping me awake.  Unable to sleep, I slowly walked downstairs to confess what I had done.

A lot of us have an experience of guilt overwhelming us. Like my story above, we often don’t recall the exact events, but we clearly remember the emotions and feelings we experienced around the event.  Like our other blogs in this series, let’s look at ways to recognize, regulate and respond to this emotion when we do experience it.

Who Are You Sadness?

We have all experienced sadness at some point in our lives. The death of a family member or pet, a difficult health diagnosis or missing out on an important event, sadness is part of everyone’s life.

As with the rest of our posts in the Who Are You Emotions series, let’s look at (1) externalizing sadness and (2) understanding what sadness communicates to us.

Who Are You Anger?

Anger.

For most of us, this is an easy emotion to understand and picture. Much of what people associate with anger are actually behaviours – things like yelling, becoming violent, name-calling, etc.

Who Are You Happiness?

Happiness is an emotion that we don’t typically examine in a counselling session.  Even though it is a well-researched topic, I don’t often talk about it with clients.  Why? My theory is that we identify happiness as a desirable feeling and many people come to talk only about feelings they think are undesirable.

Who Are You Anxiety?

If you have been reading our previous blog posts, you know that we are on a journey of asking who our emotions are. We are doing this to help us externalize and understand our emotions. When we examine our emotions, we can respond to them differently.

In this blog we are looking at anxiety. Who is anxiety?

Emotions: Who Are You?

For so long, I thought my emotions were either “good” or “bad.”

Happiness – good

Anger – bad

Anxiety – bad

Excitement – good (as long as you don’t have too much of it)

From my work as a counsellor I know that I am not alone in these beliefs. Many people have the idea that emotions are either “good” or “bad.”  But what if that is not true…

Do You Have Boundary Problems?

Boundary problems? Not me!

Many of us say that but if we are honest with ourselves, there are relationships in our lives that aren’t very healthy. These unhealthy relationships may be because of weak or non-existent boundaries.  Let’s consider the various ways that boundary problems can manifest.

Are You Ready for Coaching?

When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen.  --Harley Davidson

Maybe you have read our previous blog “Is Coaching For Me?” and think coaching is right for you. But how do you know if you are ready for coaching?

Is Counselling for Me?

Counselling can be a daunting word. When we hear it, we can have misconceptions about what it might look like. As you close your eyes and think about yourself being in a counselling room, what do you picture? Are you lying on a couch or just sitting in a chair?

Is Coaching for Me?

Do you feel you are “stuck” in the same rhythms of life? Are you asking yourself, how did I get here? Do you want things to look different but feel you don’t know how to change or where to start?  If these questions sound familiar then coaching may be for you.