Who Are You Anger?

By Kat Giles BSW, MSW, RSW | December 16th

Anger.

For most of us, this is an easy emotion to understand and picture. Much of what people associate with anger are actually behaviours – things like yelling, becoming violent, name-calling, etc.

What Does Your Anger Look Like?

I often draw my anger like a little, squiggly-lined, red monster. I like to think of the squiggly lines being the way my brain feels when I am angry – unfocused and unable to clearly articulate my thoughts. His little tight-fisted hand is often what my own body does when I am angry. Wanting to pound something – hoping to release the tension and discomfort that I feel in my body.

What does your anger look like?

Externalizing Anger

Like our other blog posts in this series, we are learning to (1) externalize our emotions and (2) understand who anger is and what it is trying to communicate to us.

When we externalize our emotions, we change the way we talk about them. We recognize that emotions do not define us. Anger is not who we are, it is just an emotion that we feel. We no longer say I am angry; we say I feel angry.

Note that anger is an extraverted emotion and often likes to spend time alongside other emotions. When you are noticing anger, you will often see other emotions present as well.

Anger, What Are You Trying to Communicate to Me?

Like all emotions, anger is telling us something. It is telling us that something is not right. It says, there is an injustice here!

Each of us has a different perception of what is an injustice. In the counselling room we explore those injustices, and we try to understand them more. We ask questions like: where does this injustice come from? What values are this injustice aligned with?

Coping with Anger

Coping with anger and managing it is important. Here are some strategies that we explore in therapy that you might like to try at home:

Recognize when anger is present and ask yourself, what is the injustice I am noticing right now?
Regulate anger:
- Take a few deep breaths or take a break from the situation for a moment.
- Think before you speak. Our anger can make us think irrationally. Perhaps come back to the conversation after you have had a moment to process.
- Take a walk around the block (or house!)
Remember that you may be feeling other emotions as well. Spend time recognizing those emotions and working to understand what they are communicating to you.
Respond to the situation after you have regulated your emotions.

Managing emotions can be difficult. If you need some help with strategies, reach out, we are here to talk.

What is Trauma?

November 29th

What is Trauma?

By Candice Chiu, M.Ed Counselling and Psychotherapy, RP {Qualifying}

What pops into your mind when you hear the word trauma?

Perhaps you see a violent battlefield during wartime. Or you may be visualizing a major plane crash. Maybe it’s a weapon being pointed directly at you.

If you saw one of the above or anything similar, you’re not alone. Most people think of trauma as a life-threatening experience. These dangerous situations can definitely be traumatic for many. However, if you ask most mental health professionals, they will define trauma differently. Dr. Gabor Maté, a leading specialist in the field of trauma and addiction, says that trauma is, “not what happened to you; it is what happens inside of you as a result of what happens to you”. In other words, trauma is not a situation, but an internal experience.

Six Ways to Regulate

August 16th

Six Ways to Regulate

By Kat Giles BSW, MSW, RSW

In this series, Who Are You Emotions, we have looked at externalizing emotions and understanding what they are communicating to us. Throughout this series you have seen me refer to The Three Rs – Recognize, Regulate, Respond. Let’s look a little closer at the last of the Rs – Regulate.

Who Are You Guilt?

April 18th

Who Are You Guilt?

By Kat Giles BSW, MSW, RSW

I remember a time when I lied to my mom.

It was years ago, and I don’t remember exactly what I lied about, but I do remember lying in my bed with the feeling of guilt overwhelming me, keeping me awake. Unable to sleep, I slowly walked downstairs to confess what I had done.

A lot of us have an experience of guilt overwhelming us. Like my story above, we often don’t recall the exact events, but we clearly remember the emotions and feelings we experienced around the event. Like our other blogs in this series, let’s look at ways to recognize, regulate and respond to this emotion when we do experience it.